Welcome all to 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿, a series of weekly reviews by Charles Connolly – an artist in his own right. Here, Charles delves into the greatest brand new singles brought to you by the best unsigned artists on our electrifying and eclectic set of 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝘼𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 playlists.
𝙄𝙣𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝘼𝙜𝙚 – 𝙎𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚 𝘽𝙤𝙮𝙚𝙨
Charles urges you to stop IT…
Despite the title of this song and article, I will NOT be talking about HAL (my name for A.I.). The topic of HAL is a dull one because HAL-generated music is a dull thing released by dull, unimaginative pretenders. Now on to something more fun.
We all had that sadistic teacher at school. Maybe you had several. If you had none, count yourself fortunate and rare. I actually had several, and they were always in pointless subjects. Abbreviated subjects. There was a “subject” called CDT, which was subsequently changed to ADT, and finally this abbreviation was abbreviated to simply DT. Eventually it was abbreviated entirely and was stricken from existence. Craft Design Technology, Art Design Technology, Design Technology; these (being the same thing) were all “taught” at my school by a man who simply MUST have previously been in the army. His goal in life was to seek revenge on us. A sadist of the highest degree. He had this finger. Or rather, lack of it. He would repeatedly show us his excuse for a finger – a nub – in order to bore us into the ground about health and safety when using the bandsaw. “If you don’t use it properly and adhere to the proper precautions, your finger WILL look like THIS!” – up comes that pointless pinky nub, again. I later found out, his lack of finger was not due to an accident with a bandsaw, but in fact an entirely different culprit: his own car door. He obviously hadn’t been following the proper precautions of not being an absolute idiot. The particular lesson that sticks with me, though, was an unusually quiet one. He was not barking, and there was no machinery. It consisted of all of us being in total silence, while doing absolutely nothing. This sadist was testing our patience and flaunting his authority. Not that he had the authority to not teach us and to instead treat us like prisoners in a POW camp. He was insistent that we all stay completely and utterly silent for 5 minutes. Silent to the extent that when someone so much as discreetly cleared their throat, he would start the timer again. A true Nazi with the face of a bald slug (not that slugs are often hairy). He managed to string this out for 50 minutes. The entire duration of the lesson. I say “lesson”… The only thing we learnt was hatred. The one good thing about evil people like this, is that it gave us all someone to universally hate. We all had that bond. It brought us all together. Not that hate is a good thing. It is a very bad thing. But when you’re a teenager, it’s at least something to do.
But what does all this have to do with the theme of this week’s pick? I’m getting there. There was one more sick sadist in my school. Please welcome another abbreviated subject: IT. Information Technology. Another pointless sack of tripe. And that’s just the subject. The teacher was far worse. With an aggressively Northern accent, complete with spittle, sweat, flaking skin and fat, this was Mr. Whittaker. With all the charm of an inebriated sock in a tweed jacket, he would bark orders like a sarcastic prison warden, as if we were the dumbest lowly criminals known to man…
“RIGHT!! Turn your computers on! Double-click on Microsoft Excel!” – why mention the brand? Was Excel – that world-famous spreadsheet programme – not enough? – “WRITE your name, if you can remember it. WRITE the date. DON’T ask me what date it is. DON’T ask the person sitting next to you. TODAY’S date is the 27th.”
“It’s the 28th.”
“The 28th, SIR!! And who’s the smart arse who thinks he knows it all? Would he like to come up here and teach the class? I didn’t think so. Are you here to learn what date it is or are you here to learn how to use a computer?”
“We’re here to learn how to use a computer…… Sir.”
“RIGHT!! So where were we before the entire class was so RUDELY interrupted by a pedant?”
“The date, Sir.”
“Do you WANT detention? Type the equation on the board into cell C3.”
“Why C3, Sir?”
“Why C3??! Because I bloody well TOLD you to type it into C3. Did I ask you WHY you chose to have that girly haircut?”
The class titters. Whittaker smugly grins.
“Sir, my computer isn’t turning on.”
“Well what have you DONE to it? WHY is it not turning on? It was working BEFORE you touched it.” – Meanwhile glaring at the pupil as if to suggest this foul “educator” was about to pull out a corkscrew and put it to good use. We all knew, though, that those tweed pockets contained only packets of Marlboro Lights and chewing gum. We were relatively safe. There was simply a rather large chip on his shoulder. A dandruff-strewn French fry, if you prefer.
These are the fond memories of my IT classes. My first soirée with the brave new world. And God, you had to be brave! It was not yet the Information Age. It was the Awkward Transition age. Things have come a long way since then. These days, I imagine that if you were to so much as frown in class, the teacher would ask if you’d prefer to be excused and see the school counsellor for a mental health refresher… After all, it’s been hours since your last! But then there’s computers. We no longer need a class in order to teach us how to turn on a computer. Computers in any form are a very normal (and major) part of life these days. Think back to the days of Windows 95. I would say MICROSOFT Windows 95, but we all know that, and we have all known that since the dawn of those very 95 panes of glass. That must have been the busiest glazier of the era. Bricks be gone. Hello sky! But no; think back to that operating system. Seems decades ago now – but that’s because it was. It was a different time entirely. It brought two main things to the world. Usefulness and novelty. Well, also frustration, but we’ll gloss over that. Suddenly it was so easy to type something out and print or even email it to another person anywhere in the world. Rather than working out complicated equations with pen and paper, our new faithful slave could do it for us, quickly and efficiently. And for me, it was the start of my musical life. I could suddenly compose cello lines, and instantly listen to them “being played”. Of course, this sounded more like a Stylophone with water damage, but it was still cool. It was that novelty factor. All of this was so new, and therefore fun. HAL (I know, I said I wouldn’t mention it) is perhaps so popular right now in being used for generating full songs in seconds, because of the novelty factor. What then, once the novelty wears off? Are you still playing Solitaire on your computer? Or has the novelty worn off? I suspect (and hope) that many “artists” will get bored of clicking “generate” and return to a much more healthy habit, like smoking pot. Nowadays, of course we use clever computing devices out of necessity, but aside from this, I have questions. Laptops, phones, tablets (not paracetamol), we use them all constantly. Not just when we need to, but ALL the time. Those questions: What is it all for? Why do we scroll? What are we actually looking for? What are we all DOING?! The questions are rhetorical, but they’re certainly worth thinking about.
I don’t know about you, but I’m CERTAINLY in the mood for some music. I need it after all that. I should think yet again you assumed I was going to be predictable in my choice this week. I am sometimes predictable, and sometimes not. Thus being overall NOT. This week, I believe I am NOT being predictable. I shouldn’t think many of you thought I was going to review this song. You might be surprised to hear that I very nearly reviewed it last week, but then Teddy Head went and bashed me over the head with a breeze block. Hard to ignore. This week’s choice of one, is an artist that I shouldn’t think many of you are familiar with. Shock, horror, CC ended a sentence with a preposition! What can I say: unpredictable. Meet Stevie Boyes. He’s quietly been a member of the New Artist Spotlight for over two and a half years. And he’s really rather good, as you’ll hear once having pressed play. But more to the point, he’s really rather different; which is what drew me in. It turns out – I just looked it up – he’s from Cornwall, UK. So he must have that ultra-soft West Country temperament… Probably making classically infused folk, no? NO. For absolutely no reason at all, I actually assumed he was German. And he doesn’t even have a German accent. I think it’s partly because of his choice of instruments and sounds, and partly the geeky studio quality that I imagine in him. You see? I imagine. None of this is fact. Just my imagination. And young Steve is full of stimulated imagination.
His brand new song is called ‘Information Age’, and it ain’t about HAL. It’s all about how computers rule us and drive us completely crazy. Its lyrics are absolutely inspired, and just SO true to life. We can ALL relate to them. Get this: “What is there to do, but tick a tiny square, to show that you care, to show you have a heart, to show you’re not a robot”. We all do it. What the hell are we doing?! It’s crazy. It’s stupid. How’s about this one: “Turn off and on again – overload my brain” – Familiar…? I should think so. Normally, any song like this, would either have a very dark, aggressive vibe, or it would be acoustic and sad. Stevie, though, has opted for strangely upbeat and dancey, with electronic everything – except the voice. But when I say electronic, it ain’t what we’re used to these days. Despite the actual sounds you hear, none of it sounds computer generated in any way. It sounds very human indeed. I suppose a sort of organic electronic. I mentioned the Stylophone earlier… How’s about the Mellotron? Or the Juno? Or the DX7? These are all classic analogue synths that had to be played using the built-in keyboard. We’re not talking about digital emulations here, though. Stevie has a plethora of proper “old-skool” synthesisers, and he really knows how to use them.
From pillow-bass (a term I just made up to mean fat and full with a soft attack) to dreamy flutters on a tremolo-like synth, this is instantly fascinating. But I did wonder why it sounded so new to me. After a few seconds, I realised what it was. We are so used to perfection these days. Perfection in timing, in tuning, in mixing, in guitar tone, in vocal phrasing, in attack and release; and hell, even in songwriting. The problem is, it all gets a little bit boring. We start to lose touch with the human side of it all. We are not perfect beings. Far from it. ‘Information Age’ has just the right amount of imperfection to achieve a certain kind of perfection. Now, let me just be clear here. I am not trying to disguise sloppy work as high art. I am trying to show you how evident it is to me, that all of this is wholly intentional. The timing is slightly off. The tuning is WAY off – and I’m not even talking about the vocals. I mean the synths! Most would assume that a song fitting this description would sound absolutely horrible… But you couldn’t be more wrong. It is somehow pleasing, and even calming! Calming in a groovy way, not a sleepy way. I can feel his fingers on the keys throughout. I hear no copying and pasting. I hear no quantised synchronisation. There is a comfortable balance of organic synths and rigidly timed drums: yes, the drums ARE bang in time.
However, it’s only from 0:25 that I start to really FEEL the song. Because that’s the moment that the bass drops out, and Stevie’s voice drops in. Instant Thom Yorke/Radiohead vibes. The notes chosen, the style of singing, the held notes, the phrasing, the vibrato, the angst, the meaning, the passion, it’s just all so Thom Yorke! And yet, this is no rip-off. This is far more upbeat than pretty much ANY Radiohead song. It’s somehow much less “preachy” and “you say I’m brilliant so I must be”. Which makes it altogether more genuine. I do sometimes get a bit bored of Radiohead’s seriousness. Everything just has to be so God damned SERIOUS! But because of the vibe of ‘Information Age’, there’s none of that. Instead, there’s quirk. Ever heard of the band Metronomy? That’s the next influence I hear. Metronomy with a little Hot Chip. Or a dandruff-strewn French fry, if you prefer. But aside from these bigger acts, I also hear similar quirk from NAS artists Billy Lowry and Lekursi. Both of whom are also from England, except for Billy, who is American. I just love how Stevie plays with microtones and smaller details within what is basically a very simple arrangement. The charm is that simple arrangement. There is nothing more I would like to add to this song or really even this review. The final thing I will say about HAL is that ‘Information Age’ would (not could) never be made by HAL because HAL assumes that perfection is the goal. ‘Information Age’ is purposely imperfect, and it thrives from this.
Almost forgot to say…! This is such a great actual SONG! I was so bowled over by the originality of the arrangement and production that I didn’t even mention the song itself. The melodies, chords and words fit together perfectly, resulting in a top notch toon!
Stop scrolling. Look through any window; what do you see?
What with all the tiny tuning adjustments and the pillow-bass, I asked my girlfriend for one word to describe IT. “Microsoft” – that’s what SHE said.
Listen to 𝙄𝙣𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝘼𝙜𝙚 on the 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿 Spotify playlist HERE!
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