𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿 – this week: Fastnet – Dom Piper (feat. Cactus Rose Collective)

Welcome all to 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿, a series of weekly reviews by Charles Connolly – an artist in his own right. Here, Charles delves into the greatest brand new singles brought to you by the best unsigned artists on our electrifying and eclectic set of 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝘼𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 playlists.

𝙁𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙩 – 𝘿𝙤𝙢 𝙋𝙞𝙥𝙚𝙧 (𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙩. 𝘾𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙨 𝙍𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝘾𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚)

Charles is all at sea…

Last week, I somewhat misjudged things. I didn’t do anything wrong or bad, I just simply made an error of judgement. Call it a misunderstanding. I wrote an entire mini-episode of the TV sitcom, Cheers. I thought it was a safe bet, and that perhaps 80% of my readers would know the show. It turns out it is more like 30%, including people from America, Canada and Britain. Which amazed me. I thought it was possibly the most popular TV comedy after Friends. Evidently I was wrong. What amazed me more however, was certain people completely misunderstanding. HUGELY. Three people thought I had simply copied and pasted the script of an episode. Two of those three said they remembered the episode!! And then there was one chap who thought I had actually been given the opportunity to write a new episode of Cheers, and that I had decided to show the whole script in a review of a song. Yep, that sounds totally plausible…! The nice thing about all this, is that it shows I evidently wrote it realistically. The sad thing is, some people evidently don’t read properly. Due to popular demand (I assume), I will NOT be writing a whole episode of another TV show most of you have never seen. I put the “NOT” in uppercase for the skim-readers who might have thought I meant the complete opposite.

So yes. Misunderstanding. What a tricky thing. It can get us into a lot of trouble. It can make us see people in a bad light when they are in fact relative saints. It can make us warm to someone who is in fact a right Lilith. It can confuse. It can give one a false sense of accomplishment. It can embarrass. But all it is, is a mistake. We are but human, after all. Well, most of us, anyway. Take for example, my own lyrics and song titles. I quite often receive messages asking about the true meaning behind a certain song. The thing is, while I am pretty happy with my lyrics, I don’t tend to use metaphor. I am pretty literal. I say what I think and what I feel. So when I was asked what my new single (Parakeet) was about, I had to be honest and let them down gently. It is about parakeets. I like ‘em. That’s all. We get a lot of them in London these days, and I like looking at them. They make me feel good. This curious person couldn’t believe that I had put all that effort into such a full production, just for a song about parakeets! I hadn’t thought about it until they worded it that way. My thoughts? They’re completely right. It is quite absurd. But hell, that’s me.

This week’s winner of the “Weekly CC Top 1” is a song called Fastnet. It is about fast fibre optic broadband internet. An unusual topic for a song, but I suppose if one can write about parakeets, then one can certainly write about something far more prevalent in our society. It’s vital to us! The song starts in dial-up speed, all the way back in the late 90s. The singer sings about how bleak it was at the time. He touches on how running would be faster than this abominably slow connection. He feels isolated without the internet speed he wishes he could have. He gets angry – and rightly so! He also mentions a boat, which I can only assume is a metaphor for the snail’s pace of dial-up compared to the lightning whizz of these days. There are more very clever scenes and metaphors like the protagonist using an online dating service, but he can’t get in touch because the internet is playing up. The girl thinks he has gone cold, but it’s only the internet that has severed their love. Beautiful! The singer puts such passion into his portrayal of macho manliness, as he goads the slow connection, saying lines like “Throw what you’ve got at me, give it your best” – he will not be defeated. This shows that even with the heavy weight of slow internet, he will not be deterred. He will not give up or give in. Such courage and bravery. Such strength. One day he will have his speedy internet. He is hopeful, but sadness looms. In the end, he never gets his Fastnet. This is bittersweet brilliance at its best.

Dom Piper: “Er, I think you’ll find…”

Charles Connolly: “Oh, what NOW?! Always with your Er I think you’ll find”

DP: “It’s just-“

CC: “Oh, did I not praise you enough? Did I miss off a couple of finer details?? God, be grateful!”

DP: “No need to call me God, but thank you. The thing is, the song isn’t about fibre optic broadband.”

CC: “Mm?”

DP: “It has nothing to do with the internet.”

CC: “Oh sure. And I suppose there was no mention of an online dating service either, huh?”

DP: “Well, no. Look, don’t worry. It’s just a misunderstanding.”

CC: “MisunderSTANDing? MisunderSTANDing??! Look, Dom. I write these things every week. Has it occurred to you that I might be past misunderstanding by now?”

DP: “Look, Charles. Has it occurred to you that I might know what my own song is about?”

CC pauses for thought and contemplation.

CC: “So you’re saying I got EVERYTHING wrong?”

DP: “Well, the quote was quite correct. And the title was spot on. But yes, basically everything else is not right at all.”

CC: “Ugh. RIGHT! I’ll do it all again. You’re a right Piper sometimes.”

DP: “What was that?”

CC: “Oh, nothing.”

And so, after much misunderstanding, we come to the REAL review. Please welcome Sir Dom of Piper, with crutches from Cactus Rose Collective. The brand new single is indeed called Fastnet, but is nothing to do with the internet. Quite the opposite, in fact. Things don’t get more isolated than this. The song is about a sailor at sea. Fastnet is short for Fastnet Rock, a small island off the south-western coast of Ireland; the very start of the Atlantic Ocean. It holds nothing but a lighthouse. Already, I think you are starting to feel the bleak, desolate nature of it all. We begin in the cold, calm remnants of Ireland. Something of folk, something of loss, something of unknowing motion. Delicate piano and emotive cello played by Cara Brun and Maya Love Coppola, respectively. Although Dom’s releases are usually produced solely by a chap named Micky Waters, Fastnet was very much a joint effort in terms of production, involving Dom, Micky, Cara, Maya and one other chap. It is this coming together that makes it all come together (says the so-called writer), hence the need for a featured artist in the title. Enough warmth. Let’s get back to the bleak. Is it cos I is bleak? Possibly. So. We open with the sparse piano and cello. It is almost a piece of its own. Truly filmic as it sets the scene for Dom’s voice to come.

“Fastnet bound from Shannon, heading east for Lundy shore. I’d never seen the rain as black, nor heard white horses roar”. The opening line. Only Dom Piper could have written this. He has the most incredible ability to paint a picture and put you right in it. Pair this with the music and his honest vocal tone, and we get the full dark vista. What was his vision is now ours. It is for this reason that I still think that he is the greatest lyricist on the New Artist Spotlight. Speaking of spotlights, our sailor is heading in the direction of the stranded lighthouse. On a map it might look like a brief skip and a jump from Shannon to Lundy, but considering one would have the Atlantic Ocean to deal with, it ain’t easy. A man and his vessel, all alone. But this man is used to it. The sea, his land. The ocean, his world. “I’d never felt so close to death. I’d never felt so alive” – it terrifies him yet it excites him. Pretty quickly, the calm sea starts to chop. It is as if the skies are punishing him for having set sail on God’s liquid ground. His temporary home is rammed both port and starboard. His sails are becoming untethered at their base, as the highest winds lash them to shreds. Dom is at the helm, unshaven and sodden, wishing at this point that he had gills. But all this is no deterrence for the long-sailed skipper. He knows he must persevere. For THIS is how Dom makes this whole story relatable… He turns it into romance. Where is he sailing? Back home to his lover. And does he make it? We will never know. Ahhh. What class. What STYLE!

Fastnet is not just a thing of beauty in terms of its words and its meaning. Dom shows off his highest level of singing to date. The respect for his own words is upheld by the passion in his voice. The purity. The I-might-be-a-poet-but-I’m-just-saying-what-I-feel quality. But the MUSIC!! Oh boy, it’s sumptuous! So many layers. So much maturity. So much TALENT! It’s quite amazing how Dom and the others managed to turn something so close and solitary into something so huge and epic. I mentioned the piece having a filmic quality; well, I think this is mainly due to the choice of instruments. This is fully orchestral, from the softness of the piano and cello to the full arrangement of strings, muted trumpet, clarinet, as well as guitar, bass and drums. Dom doesn’t release songs very often; but when he does, my word, they are special. There is something important and impressive about his songs. Fastnet is without a doubt the best new song I have heard in a while.

Dom Piper has seen neither Cheers, nor Friends.

A thought for our lonely sailor? Bleak lives matter.

Listen to 𝙁𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙩 on the 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿 Spotify playlist HERE!

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Hire Charles to produce/mix/master your song HERE!

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