Welcome all to ππΌπ»π»πΌπΉπΉπβπ ππΌπΏπ»π²πΏ, a series of weekly reviews by Charles Connolly – an artist in his own right. Here, Charles delves into the greatest brand new singles brought to you by the best unsigned artists on our electrifying and eclectic set of πππ¬ πΌπ§π©ππ¨π© ππ₯π€π©π‘ππππ© playlists.
πππ πππππ₯π©ππ€π£ – ππππππ‘ππππ£
Charles theorisesβ¦
What is music? βWait, wait, wait a secβ¦ Youβre actually going to talk about music??β – I know. Youβd think Iβd be sick of music by now. But no, I ainβt the blasphemous kind. βBut you NEVER talk about music in your intros.β – Yes, I know, I usually write about something like βHow to overcome the pressures of the worldβ, or βWhat came first, the chicken or the duck?β, or βHave you noticed the increasing presence of the hip flask lately?ββ¦ But this time I thought Iβd go all out and speak about music. It is, after all, the time and the place. So. Back to my initial questionβ¦ What IS music? This is something about which people will argue forever. But Iβm not going to go into avant-garde nonsense that in my eyes (ears) is simply not worth bothering with. I am talking about REAL music. Ya know, instruments and all that. Something that doesnβt make one scratch oneβs head, and something that one actually enjoys, as opposed to reluctantly putting oneself through, for the sake of being kind to the βartistβ or in an attempt to broaden oneβs horizons. Oneβs horizon is probably quite big enough, and does not need broadening. So youβve got your instruments, be them analog or electronic. Youβve got yourself a singer. Bravo! Thatβs basically done, right? Well, youβll need a place and a means to record. Okay then, CHECK! Got all of the above. Hit record, weβre ready! βOkay guys, whatβs the name of the song?β, the engineer says through the studioβs intercom.
Name of the song? What song? Christ, we need a song! Okay, weβll do ‘Blah-Blah’ by Blah-Blah. βNo, no. You didnβt get this time in the studio just so you could record a cover of a song that has already been recorded. We need an original songβ. Okay, well that shouldnβt be too hard. I mean, there are millions of artists in the world. They donβt seem to find it that hard. Letβs try a few chords. But how do I know what goes with what? Well, you can either use your ear (nice vs not nice) or use a bit of music theory. But whatβs THAT?? Ah, itβs like the guidebook for the whole of music. It shows you what works and how things work. Okay, so how do I learn this music theory thing? βWell, hereβs an 800 page book on the basics of itββ¦ I donβt think this is going to work. And you can kiss goodbye to that studio time!
βKnowing music theory will help you achieve the ability to write music. In fact, it will GIVE you the ability to write musicβ. This is what they say. And I suppose I sort of get that. I mean, say for example you have a 4-chord sequence repeating, and you want to write a melody over the top, music theory will help you work out the key of the sequence, and therefore give you the notes needed in order to write said melody. Great! Well that really is genuinely helpful then! But there is a but. A BIG but!! (no jokes please). Music is supposed to be an art, not a science. Writing a piece of music should not be like solving a simple (or complicated) maths equation. We are not supposed to be reaching for charts, grids and books in order to make art. Music theory really only works when you know it so well that you can afford to break the rules. Playing by the rules will give you correct music. Which can be rather dull, letβs face it. But the greatest art is usually formed when finding the thing that works that shouldnβt work. Where music theory tells you itβs wrong, yet you tingle with its rightness. I call this, the exception to the rule. I have never known music theory. I think many of you think or assume that I know it inside out. I am occasionally praised by other musicians for my use of a certain mode or scale. And I have absolutely no idea what theyβre talking about. When asked about the key of one of my songs, I cannot say. Partly because I donβt know, but also because I have a feeling my songs change key throughout the piece.
So, if one is going to learn the whole of music theory only to break the rules, why learn it in the first place? Good point! I never learnt it, and my own music isnβt that terrible. The thing is, music theory is an option. While it can help and has helped millions of people through the ages, it has also flummoxed many more millions. And to a great proportion of the worldβs artists, it can be a hindrance. Rules are good, but I personally try to find the exception to the rule. Itβs simply more interesting that way. Not to mention more fun. Music theory is not a must, and there are even people who flaunt their ignorance of it to great effect. Before getting into this weekβs pick, I will leave you with this thought. Could music theory alone have given us Strawberry Fields Foreverβ¦? I think not. It is all exception and no rule.
Speaking of freedom from the rules, I bring you bigbaldben. Yes, all lowercase, and all one word, because who said it HAD to start with a capital letter and have spaces?? You see, this man spends his life breaking rules. But he is not cryptic, and he is not subtle. He is brazen with his rule-breaking, and his personality in general. He does not hide. He does not mystify. He uses no smoke, he uses no mirrors. He is bold (as well as bald). For the conforms of informal formal writing, I will capitalise his name. He is Ben. And what a refreshingly fine and level-headed chap he is too! Ben makes rock music. Pure and simple. Itβs rock. Thereβs no other way about it. This is nothing but rock. Thereβs distorted guitar, drums and bass. Thereβs a natural squeal to his voice that lends itself perfectly to rock. Basically, he was born to rock. So thatβs the sound aspect of his oeuvre. As to his songs, though, oh BOY. This is anything but pure and simple. This is NOT what one would expect. While everyone else is in agreement that we should turn right at the junction, Ben turns left. I think if Ben were to build a house from scratch, he would start with the roof. And it would work. Weβd all be left staring, scratching our heads, asking each other βHow did he do that? That shouldnβt workβ. But it DOES work. He made it work. And he does all this so naturally. He is not just being annoying. βNormalβ music just doesnβt appeal to him. At least in terms of creation. He is the exception. And this is The Exception.
On the subject of lyrics (which we werenβt), someone so musically unusual would often not normally mind so much about the words. These words would very much come way down the list of priorities. But this is Ben. Ben who often starts with the words, or at least the lyrical theme. An unusual theme where he talks about the courting of his wife. Now, courting! THEREβS an old fashioned pastime for ya! βWhat you up to today?β – βIβm a-goinβ out courtinβ, yessir I amβ. Time for a spot of courting? Donβt mind if I do! For Ben though, it was more coaxing than courting. He completely failed, then gave up. Then the girl changes her mind, telling him she actually DID end up liking him in βthat wayβ, just as he had accepted she was a goner. I mean, REALLY!! I do feel sorry for men sometimes. The things we go through just for a spot of lifelong love. Ugh. Anyway, these lyrics of his are very clever, and very unusual. It is about that time between coaxing a friend in to being more than a friend, and that time she said she liked him. This in-between time was spent trying to forget about her. Trying not to see her. Trying to rid himself of feelings. He had had this before with other girls, and he had succeeded. But she was the exception. She just wouldnβt leave his mind.
Until she did (or so he thought). By this point, Ben felt able to meet her again as the close friends they once were. On said meeting, she popped the unbelievable news that she had feelings for him. He then needed more time alone to digest this. Poor bugger. Anyway, in the end, it all turned out peachy. And we all like peaches. Well, I used to be allergic to peaches, but I always liked them. Although he does not mention this fruity ending, he does allude to it in a subtle way. I would like to make it publicly known that the line βyou and me are a toxic messβ is somewhat artistic licence, and that the couple was never quite as malignant as the line might suggest.
Back to music. All those famous composers you can think of from the days of black and white and wigs and tights, were of course au fait with music theory. Otherwise we wouldnβt have all those monotonous pieces by Mozart, or even those dramatic operas by Hitlerβs fave, Wagner! Music theory was vital in those days. But I suspect this is simply because this was how it was done back then. Like how the great painters had to master drawing, perspective and proportion before even p-p-p-picking up a p-p-p-paintbrush. In terms of painting, I still agree with this method. But with musicβ¦? Iβm not so sure. Unlike Mozart, Wagner broke rules in music. Thatβs probably why Hitler liked him so muchβ¦ But I always wonder how Wagner would have felt had he not been constrained by these rules in the first place. Letβs ask him.
βMr. Wagner, how would you feel had you not been constrained by music theory in the first place?β
βWell, I was never actually constrained by it because I never actually knew anything about it. I just do what I do, and I like itβ. This is a rather peculiar answer that I was not expecting. As I look up, I realise there is no hair on this big manβs head. I also then realise that I am talking to a living person with an American accent. I further realise that I have in fact got the wrong Wagner. This is Ben Wagner aka bigbaldben. Bugger. I suppose this is why I am not a journalist.
So! What is it that Ben does, that makes him so alternative? He sets fire to the whole of music theory, and builds a thing of beauty from its embers. Heavy, head-banging, Foo Fighters-esque beauty. He stacks a cube on top of a pyramid, and makes it balance. He adds salt instead of sugar, yet we only taste the sweetness. Toxic sweetness, of course. Gotta stay in character. Ben turns dissonant into something positively sonnant. He takes out dis, and replaces it with dat. But whatβs weird about his music is how flowy it is (βFlowyβ being a technical term that youβll find on page 273 of Music Theory For Dummies). Ben leaps from unrelated chord to unrelated chord, with clashing harmonies galore, yet all so smoothly. Which means, he really does know what heβs doing. He hasnβt just got lucky. While he may not know anything about music theory, he evidently understands music and sound, and feel. Which to me is the most worthwhile music theory. Unfortunately though, this is not scribable. Which I love. All hail the new Wagnerian era!
I did wonder if Ben was actually related to Richard Wagnerβ¦ But I donβt care too much for theory. Theory canβt buy me love.
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