Welcome all to 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿, a series of weekly reviews by Charles Connolly – an artist in his own right. Here, Charles delves into the greatest brand new singles brought to you by the best unsigned artists on our electrifying and eclectic set of 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝘼𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 playlists.
𝙅𝙚𝙠𝙮𝙡𝙡 & 𝙃𝙮𝙙𝙚 – 𝙏𝙚𝙙𝙙𝙮 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙
Charles is two in one…
Time for another lovely review of a pretty little ditty. For that is what CC likes to listen to. Perfect, pleasing pop. Rounded, retro relevance. Sombre, soothing strings. That’s my peach in a nutshell, no? Well, I do like all these things, it can’t be denied. But my musical tastes are rather more varied than you probably realise. The difficulty arises in quality and in mood. Some other genres I rarely talk about here are often not of the highest quality, when they simply NEED to be. But the main reason is mood. I am rarely in the mood for a lot of genres. Take electronic music, for example. These days it is very seldom that I feel the pang for electronic music. But when I get that craving, there is nothing like sticking on a bit of Disclosure to sate my needs. Nothing else wires my brain the way it wishes to be wired. I’d say it gets me moving, but it’s more of an embarrassing head jolt if someone’s around. And if no one’s around, it’s like my whole body is a mercury spasm. Floppy erraticism. Like David Byrne on opium. Probably. I have reviewed a few electronic pieces over the years, but it’s not that common because I’m rarely in the mood, or it’s not been made that well. The big shame about my musical taste is that I will probably never review hard rock or metal…
“LIKE HELL YOU WON’T!!!!”
Sorry, I don’t know what happened there. I was just writing, as I do, and some massive, deep, dark voice came from somewhere in the room. But I’m the only one here. Maybe it came from outside.
“I’m not outside”
Waah, okay, you know that feeling when you feel like you’re freaking out? Well, that’s what I’m feeling right now. Trying to stay calm, but, ya know, I’ve explained the situation…
“You always explain the situation. Always boring people into the ground with your life. What you bought at the shop. Where you went on holiday. What you ate for lunch”
Am I actually hearing all this, or is it just in my head? Either way, It’s not good. The voice mentioned lunch. Maybe that’s it. Maybe I need to eat. I’ve heard that lack of food can lead to auditory hallucinations. A light salad should do the trick; nothing too heavy.
“A light salad??! Eat a burger! Eat spare ribs! Eat a whole chicken!”
Right, lunch. This is getting too much. Salad time.
“And you’re actually writing this crap in your article?? No one cares about your damned salad!”
Shut up shut up shut UP!! I need to eat. Okay. Salad made. There it is in front of me. A nice big bowl of… SPARE RIBS? What the-!!
“I won’t tell you whose they were”
Christ, whoever you are, if you’re gonna be around, would you not be so sick and twisted?!
“Oh, you know who I am”…
I ate one rib, felt sick and went for a walk. I assumed it was air I needed. At least it’s a sunny day. Besides, if this someone is at home, it won’t be with me when I’m outside. It’s probably some artist I’ve never reviewed playing a prank on me somehow. I’ve probably been hacked and it’s some sort of HAL (A.I.) link-up with all my speakers. And because I’m writing all this, it’s probably able to read my thoughts. Yeah, that must be it. And so far, all is fine. Rather lovely day, actually. Oop, there’s an old man attempting to cross the street; must help him. I hold on to one of his arms and walk him slowly across the street. He trusts me, which is kinda lovely. My fingers slip underneath his elbow and I lose my grip. He falls with a doddery slump just as a car is coming our way. I quickly drag him to safety just in the nick of time, scraping up the back of his jacket. God, that was close.
“Job well done, my man!”
No!! It’s back!
“Dunno why you dragged him to the curb though. That finger slip was a stroke of genius!”
What do you mean?! It was a bloody accident! Meanwhile, the old man is staring at me, thinking I’m insane. I ask if he can hear this voice, but he hobbles away as if I am some sort of devil.
“But you are”
Hm??
“You ARE some sort of devil. Don’t you get it yet? I am he as you are he, as you are me and we are all together”
WHAT?! I am the walrus?
“No, no, my friend. You are the devil. It’s all you. I am the darker side of you. Which isn’t very hard since you’re so bloody light, but I thought I’d lay it on heavy just for kicks”
I’m going home. I need to lie down.
Well… Since CC’s lying down, I might as well write this review. It ain’t gonh’ write itself! Good day to you! Or, as I prefer to say: Bad day to you. I’m DD; which stands for Devious Devil. I used to be Dancing Dave, but it didn’t really suit my persona. Now… Let’s see what we have in the New Artist Spotlight playlists… Soft pop – crap. Synthwave – rubbish. Acoustic junk – dull as salad. Pansy folk – duller than salad. Electronic? What do I look like, a teenage robot?! Oh God, enough of this 70s retro stuff; it’s 2025!! HAL (A.I.) bollocks – even devils have their limits. Ah, here we go. Some PROPER music. God, there’s LOADS of good stuff here that CC would NEVER review. Surely it’s finally time for some heavy rock!! I mean, just listen to the latest from bigbaldben. Definitely one of his best. And what about 12 Below? This is amazing! The thing is, being Dancing- sorry: Devious Devil, I need to sink my nails into something with a fast raging fire. Is there anything here? Oh yuck, more auto HAL junk. Will it ever stop? Ahhh. I think I’ve found it. I think I have the very thing to – what was it CC said earlier? Sate my needs? Yeah. That. Look, he’s good at words, I’ll give him that. But he would never review this. FAR too heavy for his pathetic, weak sensibility. I don’t do sensibility. I want hard, raw, gut-wrenching slam. I don’t want to “feel the air tickle my earlobes” (gay). I want to be blown to the back of the room by power and energy. I want to feel the surge of blood as my veins are close to bursting! So, thank God for Teddy Head and his latest single, ‘Jekyll & Hyde’. What a crazy dude!!!
CC once wrote about Teddy Head. And you know what his intro was? He wrote an entire episode of Cheers! Literally made up a non-existent episode that never existed. What a berk. I mean, what an absolutely stupid thing to do. If you’re remotely interested in CC’s stupidity, you can read it HERE. Besides, the song (‘Lilith’) was far too soft for me. I wouldn’t have chosen that one to review. THIS one, however, is so completely up my dark and dingy alley. ‘Jekyll & Hyde’ is the epitome of heavy while still having notes and chords and melodies. Hey, I may be devious, but I still like a good song! What first bashed me around the head, though, was the deep distorted guitar in the right ear. It’s deep, low, fast, gritty, and devilish, and it tells us something’s coming in the left ear. It balances that chilling riff. Did you hear his last single, ‘Out Of Control!’? If you’re a NAS member, the answer’s probably “yes”, because it’s been in the NAS Charts ever since it was released. What stood out to you from that track, specifically? Without a doubt, your answer will be the drums. They’re just staggering. It was far too much, yet felt right. The thing is, I did feel it was the beginning of a new era for Daniel Blackmore (Teddy Head). New beginnings are always difficult to get right, but you always get better with more experience. That’s what Daniel has done here. He has taken the heaviness of ‘Out Of Control!’ And refined it. With ‘Jekyll & Hyde’, everything is more locked in place and tighter, the levels are more balanced, the guitars punch harder, and the vocals are brought up in the mix. Yet the drums are just as powerful and brilliant. Daniel is from Grimsby, in the North of England. Yet another reason I like this man: his town contains the word Grim. But would you believe he wasn’t American?? I mean, he has that THANG! You know what I mean. It’s like modern punk vocals in the chorus, but with the attitude of a tribe of Tyrannosaurus rex! BUT!! It ain’t all his usual voice hyped up. There’s the actual devil there as well. I mean, EYE wasn’t on the record, so it must have been some other devil. However, it’s actually him singing those ogre-like roars. Much like the rest of the track, it’s ALL HIM!! Such a sublimely talented bastard.
So, let’s delve into exactly WHAT makes it so good. I mentioned the guitars before, but to “mention” them is to say that Hitler was not a very nice man. A mega understatement. It’s not enough. I cannot imagine how many guitar layers are in this track. I also think Daniel might also use guitars for sound effects in the same way that people use synths for sounds as well as notes. But with all these guitars going on, there is no hint of Oasis-like smear. Every single note is defined and hits like the short stab of a bayonet. That intro is only the beginning. Then comes the thrilling section that is so bloody rare: an instrumental pre-verse. Yep, there’s an intro, then a pre-verse, THEN the actual verse. But before I get to the verse, let’s talk about the biggest, fattest, hardest hitting drums you may ever have laid ears on. They start just 7 seconds in, as the intro continues up to 20 seconds. The double kick drum pedal is sweating but showing no signs of wear. The force is huge as it’s carpeted by the deep, grungy, shag-piled bass. 21 seconds brings us the fabulous energy that is the pre-verse, which lasts just over 10 seconds. Both the intro and pre-verse are in double time, bringing SUCH crazy vigour and frenetic vibrancy. Finally, at the standard-time verse, we get to hear Daniel’s confident vocals ATOP the ferocious instruments. This ain’t easy, because the music is just SO big, that there really shouldn’t be any space for vocals. Yet he makes sure there is not only space for it, but that it sits right on top. Excellent mixing! 0:55 brings such a POP chorus, but I still love it because it’s not nursery rhyme candy pop for children. It’s music to throw beer to! It’s upbeat in a minor key. My kind of upbeat! Not like that weedy CC. He wants minor to be sad, and major to be happy. Dull, dull, dull. 1:19 brings another stunning double-time pre-verse, followed by verse two at 1:24. Same again? THINK again! Remember that devil voice of which I spoke? He roars through like an angry sentinel, as his fiercely foul breath withers any unsuspecting weaker ego. Yes, there’s plenty of sharp teeth and thick spittle like stalactites. It’s where I feel most comfortable. The build of this song is immense! Chorus two: thankfully no changes – repetition is still important in ALL songs. The next double-time instrumental extravaganza is not a pre-verse, but a pre-bridge – it’s so original to have these little sections in between bigger sections – sometimes the journey is just as good as the destination. The bridge at 2:17… WOAH!! Triplet double kick drums!!! The whole thing goes into the heaviest shuffle groove of 6/8 I have ever heard. It has to be heard to be believed. And finally, we finish with a chorus and an outro. Quite frankly, I can’t imagine this style of music sounding better than this. It is the absolute pinnacle of heavy rock mixing. Have you ever tried mixing rock? You end up with sand. Final words on ‘Jekyll & Hyde’? I do believe this is Teddy Head’s very best song so far. Utterly perfect.
My job is done. DD over and out. Catch ya on the OTHER side, losers. Don’t do anything EYE wouldn’t do.
Damn! The review! I’ve been asleep this whole time, but I still feel utterly exhausted. Gotta write it. Wait, why are my lips covered in BBQ sauce? I only ate one spare rib. Look at the bowl, it’s still… empty… And my review is… full… Did I…? Could I have…? God. It WAS me. Ah, to Hell with it, I’ll light a cigarette. CC doesn’t even smoke anymore.
My job is DD: Double Done. But just in case, I’ll still be there, Hyding.
Listen to 𝙅𝙚𝙠𝙮𝙡𝙡 & 𝙃𝙮𝙙𝙚 on the 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿 Spotify playlist HERE!
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