𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿 – this week: Plot Armor LP – Kaminski

Welcome all to 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿, a series of weekly reviews by Charles Connolly – an artist in his own right. Here, Charles delves into the greatest brand new singles brought to you by the best unsigned artists on our electrifying and eclectic set of 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝘼𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 playlists.

𝙋𝙡𝙤𝙩 𝘼𝙧𝙢𝙤𝙧 𝙇𝙋 – 𝙆𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙠𝙞

Charles loves him (yeah yeah yeah)…

I am a romantic. I didn’t really realise until some point in the past few years, and I’m not sure if the idea of me being a romantic surprises you or if it is so blatantly obvious to you. I am rarely aware how people see me. I cannot know what isn’t in front of me – but sometimes I can feel it.

About three months ago I mentioned that I was reading a book about Paul McCartney. That was ‘The Lyrics: 1956 to the Present’ (for those who might have been intrigued to know). Not so much a book ABOUT him, as BY him. It is not just a catalogue of his lyrics, but instead basically the closest we’ll ever get to an autobiography. In some ways it was the most revealing Beatle book I had ever read, but in other ways it was simply cosy; like having a conversation with the man himself. I say “conversation”, but of course, when you’re in the presence – which I never was – of such a man, you don’t speak; you only listen. You absorb it all, picturing the scene as he relays it word by word. Having devoured many-a-book since then (all novels), I decided it was time for another Beatle book. This time it was ‘John & Paul: A Love Story in Songs’ by Ian Leslie. I am still very much in the middle of it. Put it this way – ‘The Lyrics’ is now no longer the most revealing Beatle book I have ever read. ‘John & Paul’ is NOT just another cash grab, retelling the same old stories ad nauseam. It is instead something fresh, hailed by readers as the first new Beatles story in decades.

I started this article by informing you of my romantic side for a reason. I love romance. I adore beauty. I now see that this is the very reason I became an artist and an art lover. And THIS is what drew me towards this book. It is a romance story that reads almost like a novel. Though neither John nor Paul were gay, their relationship was closer than most couples’; somehow deeper. Possibly because they shared their art together, but because of just SO many reasons that I can’t begin to get into here and now. The book chronicles their closeness from their first meeting in 1957 to Lennon’s death in 1980 (and a little beyond – though I haven’t got there yet). My recent dreams have frequently been (sergeant) peppered with beautiful Beatle goodness, as if I were there with them, or as though I am one of them! My heart has come alive in breathtaking Technicolor. I am bursting with love. If you’re a Beatles fan (or even if you’re not), this will be the most beautiful book you read this year.

The thing is, I’m not John; I’m not Paul. Although I am so totally wrapped up in this true story, it is not MY story. It is nothing to do with me; I’m just an observer. When it comes to artists I have loved for a long time, I often FEEL their music as though I am somehow connected with the artist; but I do not know them. I have never met them. Occasionally, though, there is an artist that I admire SO much, where I adore every ounce of their work, and again I feel that connection with the artist; the difference being, I actually know that artist. I have the honour to be friends with such an artist. This has only happened to me once. In other examples, either I don’t know the artist, or I know the artist but their music is simply enjoyable or pleasing to me; it does not move me in quite the way I mean. Or, said artist’s quality is not dependable enough; it needs to hit me in the heart every single time. I said it has only happened to me once… That artist is Kaminski. Although we do not know each other that well, we seem to read each other. Or rather, we seem to know each other well, but neither is quite sure how. Sometimes it isn’t necessary for it to be in front of us in order to know. We just feel each other. No, not in that way. I have this feeling that Kaminski would prefer something a little more heartfelt than a song review (he’s probably heard the song before). I strongly suspect that Kaminski is another sensitive romantic. I would like to touch Kaminski. No, not in that way. I would like to fulfil his needs. No, not in that way. Look. If John and Paul were able to have a close, beautiful connection, why can’t Kaminski and I? So, here is ‘Kam-Kam and CC: A Love Story in Thongs’. Sorry, I did actively chuckle there. Like John and Paul, neither of us is gay; I assure you there will be no mention of thongs, and neither of us will be breaking any G-strings, no matter how hard we strum.

Kaminski has a brand new album out; his second so far. Over the weekend, I have been nervous and excited. Partly because I so wanted this album to be as good as it could possibly be (spoiler alert: it is), but also because of this very article. With the prospect of something new and different, I am always nervous and excited. You might notice by the title of the article, that I have not chosen a specific track from the album; because for me, that is not the point of the release. But also because I didn’t want to get bogged down in the technicalities of the music. I wanted to focus more on the man, and our relationship. Okay then, one quick thing about the album to give you an idea of its goodness. I am a massive fan of Queens of the Stone Age. Friday came complete with new albums from QotSA (‘Perfecth’) and Kaminski (‘Plot Armor’). QotSA pales in comparison. Kaminski’s offering is far superior in every way. I hope that gives you an idea of the level we’re talking here. This isn’t anything like “supporting a friend” – I’m simply a massive fan, regardless of whether I know the man or not. I’m a member of the Kaminski fan club (there isn’t one, before you go looking) – are YOU? If not, you will be. What, you want MORE about the album?? Fine then.

Being Dutch (or Frisian), Kaminski had his weird and wonderful reasons for using the American spelling of ‘armour’, but I did not fully (remotely) understand them. If you’ve been an avid listener of Kaminski for the last two or three years, you will have heard most of these glorious songs; but there are a few new ones with which you won’t be familiar… For a fab song you’ve definitely never heard before (not one of the previously released singles), listen to ‘Teletext’. It’s a stunner, complete with an eerily Super Furry Animals moment at 1:35. The sad thing is that the journey of this album has upon release come to a close (but is finally here to enjoy in one big gulp). The good thing is, this will presumably be the last time we see this damned cover with the young drummer boy and the twirly girly…! Apologies, Kam-Kam, I got mighty sick of it (though a fab cover initially). An earlier release of his was called ‘Black Salad’ (I fell in love with it at the time). The ‘Plot Armor’ LP includes ‘Black Salad’ – a song that was on his previous EP, yet no others from that EP appear on the record. I wondered for days about the reason for this. Then only this morning I realised the probable answer. Kaminski loves vinyl. His first LP (‘My Diary Lied’) was released on vinyl, and I have no doubt he will be following suit with this new one. The thing is, an LP can only hold roughly 45 minutes of music – one of various reasons I never released my album on vinyl (it’s 47 minutes long – dayum!). His new LP comes in at 42 minutes, fitting comfortably on a vinyl record; surely this has got to be the reason he omitted stunners like the masterful ‘Hands’. You’ll notice I haven’t gone into any musical details of the album. I simply don’t see much point in doing so. I only ask that you set aside 42 uninterrupted minutes, and listen from beginning to end. Don’t thank me; thank Kam. I will be very confused if you’re disappointed.

And so the story finally begins. We two “met” (we’ve never MET) in May of 2023. That was when I first came across his music, with the song ‘Black Salad’. I wrote what I wrote in public in order to share my discoveries of this treasure of an artist, and he replied in private. It was the most heartfelt, heartwarming message I had received in quite some time. Bear in mind that I STILL very often don’t receive a message from the artist I have reviewed and poured my heart (and time) into. So instantly I realised that this was an artist utterly deserving of my bother with these weekly musings. But more to the point, I got a glimpse not of an artist, but a person. A beating heart and a mind that ticked in sync with life; MY life. The way he “spoke” (typed) was exactly how I had imagined and hoped, based on his music. Although a quiet, private man, what was evident to me was his intelligence, modesty, sense of humour, kindness, sympathy, empathy, and his understanding and uninhibited natural sense and analysis of people and things. Everything was as clear to him as he was to me. There is a purity to him, like that of a wise, humble monk. He is, however, SO far from being a preacher man; that is a type I can do without. He lacks that common plastic “nice” sheen that so many have decided to spray on these days, like a fake tan; and yet he is perfectly lovely, oozing effortless charm. He’s also generous, too; soon after that initial review from me, he quietly and coolly sent me a vinyl record of his first LP as a thank you. I can’t say THAT happens much – of course, it’s the only time. But speaking of records, there is, of course, the music. Lump all this together, and I found myself utterly hooked. I had not only discovered a fabulous new artist, but I had found a very good friend.

Like all of us, Kaminski – I really should be calling him Derek, but there’s something more magical in “Kaminski” – has had his ups and downs in life over the months. I vividly remember one specific time earlier this year when he came to me because he needed me. He needed to speak. He needed to open up. He knew I was a good listener, and he knew I would always care. There was no chance of me giving him any advice – this wasn’t what he needed (and there was nothing I could have done); he simply needed not to feel alone. Of COURSE, I will not be going into the slightest of details because, well because. He’s my friend, for God’s sake! This situation was not like him. He doesn’t ever come across as someone who needs support and certainly was never simply using me for my kindness. It’s just that we all occasionally break a little. He got by, with a little help from his friend. I desperately wanted him to come to London so we could be 22 “again”, and he wanted that too; but it was not to be. We felt so close, like we had known each other for many years. Like we had been through so much together. Yet in actual fact, we have known each other over the internet for three years, and we have never really been through ANYTHING together. It’s honestly the strangest (and perhaps strongest) connection between us. Alongside the lower times that he has communicated, have been the most beautifully high times, where he has shared the fabulous musical achievements of his offspring, especially his incredibly talented drumming son, Silas. This isn’t some sort of “Look what I have created: MY son, MY son!”, but more “Look what HE has achieved: my SON, my SON!” – it is pride and honour, and I have no doubt that he is a flawless father, balancing music with morals, making sure only to pass down his best traits, so the worst (if any) die out with him.

After two years of waiting impatiently, I finally get my early Christmas gift: ‘Plot Armor’, the LP. It is like having a piece of my dear friend (no, not that piece), Kaminski – I never think of him as Derek (his real name) but instead Kam-Kam – any time I wish. I feel very fortunate.

I have already noticed early review quotes for the LP, like “The album is a work of genius” – well that’s what genii/geniuses do!

“Get a room!”, I hear you all cry. Simmer down: All You Need Is Love.

For a taste of the 𝙋𝙡𝙤𝙩 𝘼𝙧𝙢𝙤𝙧 LP on the 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿 Spotify playlist, listen HERE!

For a taste of the 𝙋𝙡𝙤𝙩 𝘼𝙧𝙢𝙤𝙧 LP on the 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿 Apple Music playlist, listen HERE!

For a taste of the 𝙋𝙡𝙤𝙩 𝘼𝙧𝙢𝙤𝙧 LP on YouTube, listen HERE!

For the whole LP in full on Spotify, listen HERE!

For the whole LP in full on Apple Music, listen HERE!

For the whole LP in full on YouTube, listen HERE!

Follow 𝙆𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙠𝙞 on Instagram HERE!

Follow 𝙆𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙠𝙞 on TwiX HERE!

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