Welcome all to ๐๐ผ๐ป๐ป๐ผ๐น๐น๐โ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฟ, a series of weekly reviews by Charles Connolly – an artist in his own right. Here, Charles delves into the greatest brand new singles brought to you by the best unsigned artists on our electrifying and eclectic set of ๐๐๐ฌ ๐ผ๐ง๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ ๐๐ฅ๐ค๐ฉ๐ก๐๐๐๐ฉ playlists.
๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ – ๐ผ๐จ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ค๐ฃ๐
Charles celebrates his 300th articleโฆ
Can you explain what it means to have hit the big time? I mean, what exactly IS โthe big timeโโฆ? Most people call it fame. Although there is certainly often an element of fame, it definitely isnโt the only factor. I think itโs much more. For example, someone fresh out of university will have high aspirations to be the best in their field; but of course, it doesnโt begin that way. We all start small (unless you got a lucky leg-up from daddy), and then over time we climb the ladder, promotion after promotion, pay rise after pay rise, always with that shiny goal in mind: the big time. The top! Some people donโt want the big time. Others tell themselves they donโt want the big time, because deep down inside they know theyโre not good enough to ever hit the big time. Or theyโre too lazy to attempt it. The big time is not for everyone. For some, the big time is more localised; more of a private affair. Like turning from a boy into a man. Or having a family. Or finally finishing War and Peace (now you can call yourself a well-read intellectual – youโre still not, by the way). I see โthe big timeโ as a mission. Oneโs own missionโฆ
Over the last six years, EYE have had my own little mission; and itโs certainly not what you might thinkโฆ I like to think of it as a scheme. A perfectly choreographed scheme involving planning, research and one heck of a lot of patience. And it starts with an admission. Not an admission of guilt, for I feel none of it, but an admission nevertheless. The admission is this. I have been lying to you. Yes, each and every one of you has been lied to. I have been using my articles to gather your comments. Through your comments I have been given access to your accounts. Through these accounts I have snaked through to your personal computers and phones. Through your computers and phones I have managed to garner pretty much every piece of information about you. But most importantly, your bank account details. Yes, even those little digits on the back of the card that give me full access. And of course, your emails. Your precious emails and texts that allow me to see into your soul. Basically, unless you do as I say, I own you. THIS was my mission.
Huh. You think you know someone! Iโm aware this might come as rather an uncomfortable shock, and for that I am truly sorry. The thing is, Iโm lying. The extent of my hacking ability amounts to successfully logging into my own banking app. For me thatโs an achievement in itself. So, just to be clear, everything in the previous paragraph was a complete lie. When it comes to data theft, I wouldnโt know where to start. But most importantly, I wouldnโt try, because I would never want to do this. Lying makes me feel sick – whether itโs me doing the lying or itโs me having been lied to. Even this brief little lie right now just to make you jump then release with relief, was uncomfortable for me. But hell, it was fun. I did have a genuine, quiet, unsaid mission though, and today this mission has finally been achievedโฆ
My mission was to get to 300. Yes, 300 articles (letโs be real, theyโre articles, not reviews). This mission was so subtle, that I hadnโt even thought about how long this would take me, despite it being a rather simple sum. About 50 in a year. About 6 years. For me it was simply โCan you get to 300?โโฆ It was a completely arbitrary number – utterly without meaning or reason – but it felt doable. Just aboutโฆ Bear in mind that I basically set aside an entire day every single week for writing these things, so thatโs 300 days spent writing these things. God, think what else I could have been doing!! But the thing is, I donโt think anything I could have been doing would have been as fulfilling, satisfying, interesting, educational, enlightening, revealing, enriching and enjoyable as this. It has almost become my main art form (or creative compulsion) – which I do not actually like. I do not like that it has become what I am known for. I need to get back to making music. Itโs supposed to be my raison dโรชtre. So bloody well do it!! And I will, I will. But I donโt want to swap one for another. I want to do both. In the pre-fame days of The Beatles, they used to chant to each other, โWhat are we gonna be? Bigger than Elvis!โโฆ It wasnโt long until they achieved this seemingly impossible feat. Did they then disband and choose another profession? Of COURSE not. They sought out more goals while maintaining all previous achievements. And they smashed every last one of them. I want to keep getting better. Once one mission is complete, we donโt want to just put it in a box and die. I will of course be continuing my weekly musings, but I will add to this. I will try to work out what my next mission is to be. 300, thoughโฆ Cor! I feel quite shiny. Iโm still slightly amazed that I managed to keep going every week for 6 years. There’s something about quantity that shows oneโs quality is not short-lived, or even a fluke. The most important thing for me is standards. It always has been. And – I hope – always will be. I have never seen the point in doing less than oneโs very best. โWhen you got a job to do, you gotta do it wellโ – thank you, Paul McCartney. He then sang โYou gotta give the other fella hellโโฆ Well, I feel Iโve done that too. Say live and let die!
A quick(ish) aside, because I can. I would like all of you to look at your own work, your own music, objectively. I would like you to be honest with yourselves. The song youโve written, is it the kind of thing that you would like to listen to if given the choice of all the music in the world? Is it boring? Is it interesting? Does it do enough? Howโs about your singing? CAN you sing? Are you giving it enough gusto? Howโs your tone? Howโs your tuning? When it comes to production, do you know what youโre doing, or are you just doing what youโve always done? And was that ever quite right in the first place? How does that production compare with the rest of the music youโve listened to? And finally, the soundโฆ Does your sound completely fall off a cliff when put side by side with the rest of whatever music youโve been enjoying your entire life? All of this is not meant to depress you. It is supposed to excite you. If youโve been completely honest with yourself and you see nothing but excellence, then this alone is enough to excite. You have made it. You are brilliant. You have hit the big time! If, however, you are starting to see flaws and holes, look into the future. You can be better. You WILL be better. Strive and strive further. If you feel youโre out of your depth but you know it could be improved, allow me to drag you into the shallow end, wipe your brow and alleviate the burden. This is what I do for a living. I know all about this stuff. I can be of service to you. Before you hit the big time, โhit me upโ! Yes, thatโs a shameless plug, by hey – 300, baby!
Oh, and stop the HAL (A.I.) junk. Itโs not interesting, itโs not fun, and itโs not you. I also suspect that even YOU are bored with it. And of COURSE you are. Itโs a gimmick. It gives you zero sense of achievement, because you havenโt actually achieved a thing. But also, itโs a lie. And no one likes being lied to. 300, baby. 300. Phew!
For old timesโ sake, letโs have a review. This weekโs winner is someone who has never appeared here before, but itโs also someone who has wandered through my โmaybe listโ a total of 5 times. And had it not been for healthy competition from other brilliant artists, they would probably have appeared here several times. Who dat? Itโs Australiaโs Ashstone, with their latest single, โBig Timeโ. Ashstone isnโt a band, but just one man. I could call him Lester (for that is his name), but he seems to call himself Big Les. Entirely separate from 90s UK band (featuring Keith Allen, Damien Hirst and Blurโs Alex James), Fat Les. Letโs talk about Big Les, then. Well, I think that about wraps that up. I have no information except that he is from Canberra. But I donโt mind because he makes music. I have more experience in music than big Australians. When it comes to โBig Timeโ, its lyrical meaning is less what I explained above, and more simply a feeling. The feeling of freedom and happiness. Letโs face it, these days this more than constitutes the big time! Being able to breathe and smile simultaneously (neither through gritted teeth) is very much such an achievement. Or at least it certainly feels that way. And Big Lesโ easy way of singing suggests heโs already hit his big time. Oh, by the way, donโt pay any attention to the lyrics on Apple Music: they seem to be erroneous, potentially being the words for another song entirely. Yes, it confused me tooโฆ
To describe Ashstoneโs music is both easy and hard. Correction, it is relatively easy to describe the music, but hard to explain why I like it. The music itself is a kind of flowing soulful rocky poppy vibe of average tempo, with warm retro guitars and strong, calming bass. But ultimately that sounds a bit dull. And really, this music should be quite dull. There are however various artists and bands that I really go for, and I canโt quite explain why. I mean ones that I really LOVE. One band I have been listening to for 25 years, only in this past month have I really realised that I love their music. No, thatโs not quite right. I have always really gone for them, but have never thought of them as being one of my favourite bands. I never really think of them at all, to be honest. I donโt really understand it. I love them and have known all their music intimately, but at the same time I have never really acknowledged that I have such a deep appreciation for them. That band is The Strokes. I was addicted to their first album – literally, I felt guilty for not playing it. Then I was obsessed with the second album. Then Juicebox changed my life. And they just never let me down. That is, until the absolutely horrific autotune used across the whole of the new albumโs vocals (it literally sounds like an error in the mixing process) – thankfully, this community has never really been afflicted by autotune. But aside from this tuning blip, I now hold them as close as any of my other favourite bands. Like a load of teddy bears on my bed that I refuse to let go of. The thing is, I canโt quite explain WHY I like The Strokes so much. When listening to Ashstone – โBig Timeโ or almost any other of his releases – I get exactly the same feeling. Something cosy and close, thatโs soulful and old fashioned, but also bright and a little funky. Itโs like itโs saying โeverythingโs okay, weโre with you, weโre just like you, everything will be all right, letโs just jam and forget about everything elseโ. Like The Strokes (those cheeky, stylish New York Italians), I feel I know Big Les. I also feel like I am being passed a joint by someone who never quite grew up. Making me regret having grown up (at the same time as wondering if I ever DID grow up). Thereโs something so unshowy about it all. So casual. So โsure, pull up a floor cushion and get groovy, man; Iโll make you some chai. Here, play with these chopsticksโ.
Ashstoneโs music should have quite a wide audience because of its welcoming quality. But itโs a warm welcome that manages to avoid tweeness or any kind of assumption that weโre age five and thwee kworters. The sad truth is that I donโt think many people have ever heard the music of Ashstone. As far as I am aware, Big Les has NEVER been on the NAS Top 20 chart, and I have NEVER heard anyone mention his music. I see this as the kind of music that no one is capable of disliking, no matter their preferred genre. I can see rock and pop fans liking it. I can see hip-hop and afro-beat fans liking it. I can see electronic and punk fans liking it. And yet, where is itโฆ? Nowhere! This must be crushing for Big Les. Hence why I felt the need to do what I have been doing for many years: trying to get peopleโs names out there. In my eyes, anyone making great music deserves to be heard; deserves to be known about. And in my own little way, my Corner to a certain extent can provide that. But of course, I donโt talk about just any old music here, it has to be very good. Standards and all that.
Pay attention to the fullness of โBig Timeโ, despite the productionโs lack of layers. It doesnโt need loads of bells and whistles. Itโs all about the song, the vibe and the mixing. Proving that Les is more.
Mission complete! 300, baby.
Listen to ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ on the ๐๐ผ๐ป๐ป๐ผ๐น๐น๐โ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฟ Spotify playlist HERE!
Listen to ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ on the ๐๐ผ๐ป๐ป๐ผ๐น๐น๐โ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฟ Apple Music playlist HERE!
Listen to ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ on YouTube HERE!
As far as I can tell, Ashstone is not on Instagram or TwiX (unusual way of hitting the big time)
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